hahaist011's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- the thicker quicker liquor "Of course all life is a process of breaking down, but the blows that do the dramatic side of the work -- the big sudden blows that come, or seem to come, from outside -- the ones you remember and blame things on and, in moments of weakness, tell your friends about, don't show their effect all at once. There is another sort of blow that comes from within -- that you don't feel until it's too late to do anything about it, until you realize with finality that in some regard you will never be as good a man again." that's from The Crack-Up, which i've never read, but ever-coveted. now then. see, i frequently forget that i am always holding the antidote (to the poison you just drank, dr. jones) to this EP (that's "existential pain" to those who have not been keeping up with their oldannex). the problem is: there is not much time for serious reading in my current schedule. (no one told me that part. or rather, everyone always tells me that, but i read wildly through so many other 'you won't have time to read' times, so...and since i gorged on all of ellroy during student teaching, i just thought that, well, life wouldn't be that much different. god shut up stupid lateblooming parenthesis.) but, see, i think there is relief to be had in cain, o'hara (john, that is), west, mccullers, chandler, and of course EH and FSF. but those mean i'd have to be re-reading, and though--as surely you know--i am waaaay down with that, it'd be nice to read something new. so i am thinking The Crack-Up. (just "maybe" because it's possible i won't like it, and then what? though i have thought and thought, what could be wrong for me with a weary and wiser scott? when i have read and loved even the Pat Hobby stories? when i have finally come around to The Last Tycoon?) and then, since i only ever read the postman rings twice once (ha), i could do that. oh yes, i am getting to it. the question i know you're asking: why isn't hammet on that list. i'm not sure i even understand that. there is just something *different* about him. if chandler wrote--as they never tire of printing on new editions--like a slumming angel, then hammet wrote, at times, like a regular straight-up miltonic angel. like someone who doesn't and won't get _it_ because he gets something else more important. (like how raphael just can't ever ever ever understand adam's love for eve.) marlowe is tough and hard, but also something else. something else that is not necessarily soft but that is good and true. (no surprise, then, that for me the best there is of marlowe is The Long Goodbye) i see marlowe flanked by those nicks (adams and carraway) who show me feeling and fucking up in new ways, every time. sam spade is too hard, see? if spade wrote books, that nice young man who got kicked out of pencey might not wanna call him up, know what i mean? that is not to say that HC wouldn't wanna call up hammet, but i think it unlikely, very unlikely. i just know he'd call up chandler, though. if only for the opening scene of The Little Sister when marlowe stalks the bluebottle fly. ok seriously, yinz. the question you might actually be asking, if you listen and ask questions at all: why all this gabbing? why doncha just effing read it then? candid answer: because this is a huge part of what soothes me and has almost always. i love to love these novelists. and i love to think about loving them. ask talli; she's heard it a million times. i'm all back against the wall over something, someone and next thing you know, i'm all, "why am i the only one who fucking reads [fitzgerald or hemingway or etc.]?!" and i get all crazy-mouthy about People and Their Reading Habits. so i talk (and talk) and bright boys do you think i care if anyone understands? has read these things? knows anything about them? it seems only fair this should lead to some soul-deep comfort because, yo i have lavished all my love on these books, loved them better--with more and greater care--than i have loved any people. have, indeed, loved them instead (in lieu?) of many people. 8:46 p.m. - 2007-10-30 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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