hahaist011's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- banal and inevitable at the dilles' house last night, i was looking at photos of jackie's weddings. it was sad and confusing in the way that thinking about jackie always is. we were, probably, always so different and it was just made more and more clear at 19, 23, 27, and so on. but still, there's something, and i think i know what it is. it nags at me: what does she think of me? what does anyone, right? everyone is different now? yeah yeah it always seems like everybody is always changing or that no one ever changes, but there is something about everyone being married and having kids. however banal that is, it is still real. i would still rather be me and doing whatev i'm doing, but do people know that? i used to be pretty uptight about my siblings knowing this (and i'm still pretty uptight about in-laws speaking out of turn), but now it seems like i have to kinda feel this way around a bunch of people. boring. 4:57 p.m. - 2008-07-20 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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